


The Hermit

by Leaves_Crown



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Getting Back Together, Love, M/M, Reunion, Search
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-07
Updated: 2014-10-23
Packaged: 2017-12-28 17:59:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/994864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leaves_Crown/pseuds/Leaves_Crown
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erwin disappeared after humanity's victory. Levi has been searching for years when he finally hears about a hermit living far beyond the walls. But will he forgive Erwin's disappearance?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

By habit, Levi pulls his scarf tighter around him. It’s not necessary. No clouds cover the sun. He has not seen a calendar for weeks, but full spring must come soon.

Riding through the trees, he still keeps vigilant watch. Any movement he analyzes at top speed, only dismissing it when he realizes it’s just a bear or deer. 

This is not necessary either, for the titans were defeated five years ago. Humanity had mourned their fallen, then rejoiced and of course squabbled amongst themselves. 

The night of victory, as his troops cheered and paraded, Erwin had nodded at him from across the street. Believing they would meet at the earliest opportunity, Levi had offered him a salute and stayed to count survivors. 

Never again had they met. 

For Erwin had disappeared. 

Even when he first realized, Levi had understood why. The guilt of years of terrible decisions, the blame of thousands had taken their toll on both of them. They had ignored the wounds inflicted by hatred and self-loathing to lead humanity to victory. Levi had assumed they would find solace with each other once it was all over, as they had done on those rare moments they had spent together alone.

For months, Levi had combed through the cities and mountains within Wall Rose. Not a trace he had found of Erwin there. Even in Sina he had searched for more than a week, but he knew Erwin would never willingly spend time there. So Levi had moved out. 

Going round and round Wall Rose and Wall Maria, Levi had found nothing. Builders broke down that outer wall, using stones for new building projects. It had enraged many, but greed had prevailed. 

People began occupying old villages again, taking the riches of long deceased people for their own. After years of traveling from one to the other, Levi had finally picked up a trace in a small town about a week riding from here. 

Fishmongers spoke of a tall hermit, who covered his face and body. He sold them flowers in exchange for soap and a shirt. One of the fishers had climbed the roof of her house and watched him ride east. 

So here Levi rides, on a path that had not been used for more than a century, except perhaps by the mysterious hermit. 

If this turned out to be another loose thread, he would return to Maria and enter the police force. Or he might live in the shadows, to kill corrupted politicians. 

He smiles wryly, for he had told this story to himself several times, but he always keeps looking. 

A little trail leads away from the main path. Levi reigns in his mare, feeling the breeze on his face. Something in the wind tells him to take it. 

He does not ride fast, anticipation heightening with every step. After a few minutes, he reaches a little stream. He jumps off and leaves his horse there with a few calming words. Following it past the trees, he turns left. Right ahead of him appears a clearing. His steps quicken until he sprints. Levi does not even feel the branches sweeping against his cheeks. 

A cottage appears before him, next to a pond. Birds sing on the roof and unfamiliar flowers had been planted everywhere around it. 

“Erwin!”

The door is open, but his former lover appears from behind the cottage, holding a watering can. 

“Levi.”

Levi pants, half distrusting his own senses. Was this really…? Was he really here?

“I’ve found you,” he rasps. 

Erwin’s expression softens. “I was just watering the plants.”

“You were…”

An anger fused with years of despair and uncertainty, makes Levi rush forward. His fist connects with Erwin’s chin. He pushes the much taller man against the wall, fingers digging into his skin. “You fucking bastard!”

Erwin makes not attempt to defend himself, his body slack against the wall. “I was wrong, wasn’t I?”

Enraged, Levi pulls at his shirt and shouts, exhausting himself with a stream of curses and desperate questions.

Erwin’s eyes close and he turns slightly away from him. “I have wronged you.”

Levi clenches his fists, but he sees his own pain reflected on Erwin’s face. For seconds he manages to resist the urge, but then he gives in to his deepest instinct. Leaning his face against Erwin’s broad chest, he whispers his name.

A strong arm comes around Levi, apologies reach his ears, but he can not entirely comprehend them yet. Instead, he breathes in Erwin’s scent and tries to process that his long search has ended finally.

“Come.” Erwin leads him to the door. “I will make you some tea.”

“Tea?” Levi repeats, dazed.

“Yes, I grow some up the hill,” Erwin’s smile is sad, as he leaves him to go to the kitchen.

Levi sits down on the comfortable sofa, staring at his own hands. So, he had been here all this time, enjoying life in peace. While Levi had devoted his whole life to finding Erwin or his body, he had simply been taking care of his plants. 

“You must hate me a lot,” Levi sneers, when Erwin returns with a cup of steaming tea. 

That stops the taller man in his tracks. “Is that what you believe?”

“What could I believe? I thought you had been killed. Or that you had been injured, abducted or lost your memory. Or that you were so disgusted by humans that you could not bear to be near any, not even me.”

“You are right.” Erwin sits down next to him and hands him the tea. “I could not, but not because I was disgusted with you.”

“Then why?” 

“I was the one who pulled you into hell. I have made you do unspeakable things, burdened you with unforgivable decisions.”

“And that’s why you left me there?” Levi asks bitterly.

“So you could find a modicum of peace without having me around, reminding you every day.”

Levi stares at his drink

“I did believe you would search for me for a few weeks, but would leave it rest once other matters would come up. I assumed it would be a relief.”

Glaring at him, Levi crosses his arms. “The only one who found peace was you. With your flowers and hill cottage.”

“You really believe that?”

Levi shrugs. 

“Seeing you today has brought some contentment.”

“But.” Levi stands up. “I assume you want me to leave now?”

For seconds Erwin looks him in the eyes. “No. I want you to kiss me.”

With a growl, Levi lurches forward and grabs his blond hair, kissing him fiercely. Erwin returns his passion, pulling him into his lap. Levi let his head fall back when those hot lips touch his neck. Using his hand, Erwin undoes the knot at his collar and Levi’s cape slides down. They keep kissing, fingers trailing over each other’s bodies.

Turned on, Levi pulls off his shirt and throws it on the table. He does not notice that the tip of his sleeve soaks in the cooling tea. 

“Lie on your back,” he commands his former superior.

Erwin does not think twice, and does as he was bid. It is Levi who undoes both their pants and it is Levi who breaks it off, searching for something to make it easier. 

“Oil in the bathroom,” Erwin’s gaze follows him hungrily. 

“Where?” 

“Upstairs.” 

Impatient, Levi rushes upstairs, finding the bath behind the door to the right. He grabs a flask of massage oil from the cupboard and hastens down the stairs. 

There, Erwin’s clothes are sprawled on the floor. Levi meets his eyes and slides down his own underwear. 

Erwin reaches for him and lets out a gasp when Levi straddles his lap. Reason flees quickly when Levi rubs against him. Opening the flask, Levi spreads the oil on Erwin’s fingers. 

“You’re not going to be gentle, are you?”

Erwin shakes his head, but prepares Levi rather carefully. They were both used to pain, but what use is there in inflicting more?

Levi’s fingers tighten around Erwin’s shoulders. In spite of his anger, he craves Erwin’s touch. Smearing the last bit of oil over his hands, he grabs Erwin’s erection. Deep, throaty moans make the corners of Levi’s mouth turn up in triumph, until Erwin scissors his fingers inside him. He bucks his hips and brings his lips close to Erwin’s ear.

“Now.”

They both groan when Erwin thrusts up into him. Levi not just at pleasure. After so long, he needs time to adjust to being filled again. Erwin stills his hips, caressing Levi’s cheek. 

Still too angry for such gentle gestures, Levi turns away his face. There is an apology in Erwin’s eyes that he does not want to see. Instead he raises himself up and lets himself slide down on his cock.

Thoughts dissipate at the sweet burning that shakes him to the core. 

Erwin moves back into him, but slowly. It does not satisfy Levi yet. Frustrated, he angles himself, needing more of that delicious friction. Erwin’s powerful hips meet his own rhythm and they speed up. Years of isolation from each other, from every human touch, makes them wild for it.

Levi feels Erwin’s hand on his back, supporting him. He bites back a curse. How could he be so fucking kind after having betrayed him so badly?

His head rolls back and he gasps at the ceiling. Erwin had hit him just right. Remembering how Levi likes to be handled, he does it again and once more. Losing control, one of Levi’s legs goes up, allowing him even better access. Without Erwin’s supporting arm, he would fall to the floor now. This is what trust is, and he hated Erwin for letting him forget it. Their movements grow frantic. When Erwin releases inside him, he feels happier and hornier than he has for years. Levi’s hips quiver, body aching for his own release. 

Erwin recognizes it. Still breathing madly, he grabs Levi’s cock and pumps it. It is too much. With a strangled moan he comes, shooting his load over Erwin’s hand and stomach. 

He almost falls back, but Erwin steadies him. Lips close together, but not touching, they pant. 

“Levi….I….”

Erwin’s voice brings Levi back to reality. Abruptly, he gets off, feeling the stains on his body. His anger returns. 

“I need to wash.”

“We can go to the pool outside and…”

Levi’s expression darkens. “I’ll go alone.”

He rushes out of the door, leaving Erwin by himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will leave it as a one-shot for now, but will probably continue this if there's interest.


	2. Chapter 2

The chill enters through the open window and the tip of Levi’s sleeve still soaks in the tea. Erwin gets up. Levi is thinner than when he had last seen him. That he had been the cause of his years of desperate searching makes his guilt even worse. What if Levi had never found him? Perhaps he would have wasted away. 

No, not Levi. He would have stopped at some point. Would have… Erwin sighs. It was stupid to tell himself that. Levi had been looking for years, because of his mistake. Maybe he would never be able to make amends completely, but he could make things better. 

For that he had to focus on the present. Swimming in a pool still cold from a winter that had barely left would not be good for Levi’s exhausted body. Erwin unfolds his summer blanket and takes it outside with him. 

The moon gives him enough light to spot Levi straight away. He does not swim really, but floats in the water, eyes staring up into empty space.

“Levi,” Erwin calls, bringing him back to reality. “Get out of the water.”

He swims back to the shore, lifting his naked body out. Erwin swallows. Levi still attracts him, maybe even more than before. 

“What?”

Erwin holds up the blanket and steps behind him, draping it over Levi’s shoulders. He dries his black hair. Levi stands there, not leaning in, but not moving away. 

“I hope you will forgive me one day.”

“I don’t think I can ever understand.”

“Don’t you?”

“No!” Levi spins around to face him. “You should have taken me with you!”

Erwin speaks softly. “Yes, I should have.”

For moments they both avoid each other’s gaze. “I don’t think I can.”

“Forgive me?” Erwin suggests.

Levi shrugs. 

“That is understandable.”

“So, I shall leave.”

“You shall. If that is what you want.”

Something flashed in Levi’s eyes that gave him a spark of hope. 

“But stay a few days, at least. Regain some of your strength.”

“I don’t need to…”

“It would please me,” Erwin cuts in. 

Levi shrugs off the blanket. “I no longer care about what pleases you or not.”

“Then do it for yourself. You have searched for five years and you deserve answers to your questions.”

“I will leave tomorrow.”

Erwin holds up the blanket. The shorter man grabs it and follows him as he walks back into the cottage.

“You can sleep in my room.”

Levi picks up his shirt. “I’ll stay on the couch.” 

“As you wish.”

Though Erwin sits in his room for a long time, he goes down just before dawn. Levi lies on his side, just as always, and does not even occupy half the ancient couch. 

Sitting down next to him, Erwin makes sure that Levi can not disappear without him knowing about it. He realizes how hypocritical this is, but can’t help himself. 

For distraction, he starts breakfast. It consists of berries, a bowl of nuts, sweet potatoes and tree root he had carefully cooked two days before. Erwin takes a big pouch and fills it with more of this. He carries it past the still sleeping Levi and goes outside.

There Erwin is greeted by the sight of Levi’s horse munching on his hay. His expression softens and he reaches out his hand for her to sniff. In solidarity with her rider, she turns away her head. He opens up one of her saddlebags and puts the pouch inside. 

After putting down the flap, he walks around the back of his house. His chickens are just waking up. Only one egg had been laid since yesterday morning. He scoops it up and takes it back to the kitchen. 

Glancing back into his living room, he sees Levi stretching and sitting up. Erwin puts the food on his only table. He had found it barricading the door when he first arrived here. The former inhabitants must have used it as a desperate attempt to keep the Titans out. 

Levi does not comment on the food and eats it measuredly. In the past they had both gone for days without food, but Erwin intends to spoil him as much as he can. 

“I’m going to feed the chickens.”

A nod, no other reaction. Levi was guarding his emotions. 

Erwin smiles at him and grabs the bucket with chicken feed. The three chickens perch up when he arrives. Once he had five, but two had passed. For his next trip to the village almost as remote as his own hut, he had planned to get a rooster so they could breed before they got too old. The shadow of death already hangs over Clara, his favorite.

“Don’t tell me you have named them?” Levi asks, walking up behind him. 

Erwin throws a handful of seeds at the birds. “Clara, Eva and Matilda.”

Levi snorts.

“You try.”

“No thanks.”

Erwin hands him the bucket. “You have just eaten one of their eggs. It’s only fair.”

That was the sort of logic that worked on Levi, he knows. The shorter man sighs and takes a handful as well. “How?”

“Just throw it in the pen.”

Levi’s face brightens for a tiny moment as he lets the food slip through his fingers and the chickens come running for it. Perhaps this was the life Levi had imagined when they had defeated the Titans. Them together. Peace. And he had taken it all away from him.

“I made a grave mistake,” Erwin says. 

“What? Crossbred the wrong flowers?”

“No, in leaving you behind.”

Ill at ease suddenly, Levi looks at the chickens. “I told myself someone had taken you. That I had to save you. If I had known for sure you deserted me, I don’t know if I….”

“If you…?”

His beautiful dark eyes meet his. “If I could have had the strength to keep going.”

Erwin swallows. “And now?”

“Now I’m just tired. That’s it. Tired.” 

For a long time they do not speak. Erwin feels Levi’s pain as an almost tangible thing. 

“I’ll show them to you.”

“What?” Levi asks, confused. 

“My flowers.” He forces another smile. “Come.”

They hike up the slope, past the trees. Erwin feels elated for just these minutes. Even if Levi would leave him forever in an hour, he would still get to enjoy this sight. He knew the younger man was curious, even if he tried to hide it. As he had hid so many emotions his whole life. A memory comes back, of Levi hesitating when Erwin kissed him for the first time.

“There.”

Levi’s lips part. The valley in front of him blooms with flowers planted by Erwin. Levi sniffs up the heavy fragrances. Sensitive to smell, he steps back. “What… you?”

“Yes, me,” Erwin says, not without pride.

Eyes widening, Levi walks down, stretching out his fingers until he touches the high, yellow flowers on the edge. “I’ve never seen anything like them.”

“Those are quite common a couple of miles to the north.” Erwin follows him down. “See those azure ones?”

Levi nods.

“Those are the result of a crossing I did last year. Their seeds will be of great value.”

“Yes,” Levi says, always recognizing a business opportunity. “They would be, in Sina at least. You planned to go there?”

“No, I planned to cross them twice more. Obtain ever more outlandish forms.”

“And then sell them in Sina?”

“No, I would have sold them half way back at the edge of Maria and created a bank account on your name.” He caresses a petal. “Set you up for the rest of your life.”

Levi pauses, but does not voice his thoughts. Instead he walks along the edge of the sea of flowers, occasionally touching or smelling one. They are lucky, for the clouds stay away and the sun lightens the flowers perfectly. Erwin knows that his words affected Levi, for some of his tension subsides. In wonder, he circles the whole valley. Waiting, watching him, Erwin wishes time could stop. That this day would not end and Levi would not leave him forever.

He says none of this when Levi completes the circle and heads back to the summit. His step speeds up as he descends, purpose moving his feet. 

Erwin realizes he is aching to leave, perhaps because staying only confuses him more. So he keeps up with him, arriving back at the pool just after him. To make sure he does not jump on his horse and ride off, Erwin lays a hand on Levi’s arm. 

“Just a moment.”

“I need to…”

Something of his old commander voice comes back to him.“A moment.”

Levi shrugs, but he was getting antsy. Entering his house, Erwin rushes to the kitchen. He takes a jar from the cupboard and takes out the seeds collected there. Putting them in a little pouch, he ties it closed and goes back outside. 

The mare whinnies when Levi grabs the reigns, leading her to the path from which he had come. 

“Yeah?” 

Erwin takes one hand and places the pouch inside it. 

“What’s that?”

“Sell them in Sina. Get the best price you can from them.”

Levi gasps when Erwin kisses his hand. “Live, Levi.”

“I won’t come back.”

Erwin’s fingers tighten around his hand. His eyes close and he leans his forehead against it. “I know. But you would have been welcome here otherwise.”

Pulling back his hand, Levi gets on the horse. For a moment he stares down at Erwin, but leaves without a greeting.


	3. Chapter 3

Levi slumps over his horse. Both of them are at the end of their strength.

“We should rest, eh?” Levi says to her.

She stops abruptly on the empty path. Left and right are the endless rows of trees and the sounds of birds and critters. Humanity, save for one stubborn ex-commander, has not reclaimed this forest yet.

Levi slides off and leads the horse to the side of the path. “Rest then.”

He had discovered the bag of food a few days ago. It had annoyed him. It would have been easier if Erwin had been cold and let him journey on an empty stomach.

Problem was that Erwin had been anything but cold. Levi had gasped at his passion, as he thrust into him with desperation.

Levi shakes off the memory, but others take its place. Erwin giving him the expensive seeds, the beautiful valley of flowers and Erwin putting a blanket around him to protect him from cold.

Would he have been happy if Erwin had taken him along all those years ago? Levi leans against a tree, munching on a nut.

Yes..

Much happier than he had been searching for years, living on an ever decreasing military pension and whatever he found in the forests.

He should not think of it. Erwin had abandoned him, and they could never be as they might have been. Maybe now he could finally settle down, find a nice, pliant man to live with. Someone who would cook his meals and massage his shoulders when he felt tense. Levi snorted. He could not think of anyone who would be able to deal with his restlessness and moods, his constant nightmares.

But he had slept well in Erwin’s house.

“Fuck you,” he whispers to the memory. His horse drinks from the stream and does not look up when Levi pulls out his second cape from the saddlebag. It is more threadbare even than the one he wears. He rolls himself up in it and tries to sleep.

*

Erwin looks up at the night sky. It is as devoid of colors as his inner life. His goal of creating expensive flowers for Levi to sell was what had kept him going. Having nothing to work towards makes him feel even less connected to the world than before. What finally gets him though, is that he knows he has lost Levi forever.

He takes to bed and does not know if he will ever get out.

*

Levi’s dreams torment him as he sleeps next to the road. They are no longer of just memories, but future happenings of Titans returning. Titans that run faster, jump higher and think cleverer than the old ones. One munches on his old squad and several pull at Erwin, until his whole body tears in pieces.

Sweating profusely, he wakes up with a shock. His horse stands over him, trying to protect him from his ghosts.

“Thanks,” he whispers. “But I’m fine.”

He rolls up his sleeping bag and washes himself in the stream. In a minute, he will make a choice. He can continue back to the walls, away from Erwin and lead a shadow life, or he could return to the sunny cottage.

In the city, he would be rich after selling the seeds, have everything he dreamt of when he was a young rascal. Erwin had hurt him to the core, treated him like a fool. Logic demanded that he rode as far away as possible from him. But no matter how angry he still is, he acknowledges that Erwin had suffered as much as he, and cares for him as nobody else could.

He dries off, puts his clothes back on. “Let’s go,” Levi says and chooses a future.

*

Erwin drags himself from his bed to feed the chickens. They run toward him as he opens the pen and feeds them. Having the responsibility of their well-being keeps him going, but he feels nothing as they eat.

A few weeks ago he had made a new broom and he uses it to sweep the floor of his cottage. After that, he dusts the few pieces of furniture and gives the kitchen a good cleaning. Taking one of his blankets, he washes it in the pool, before hanging it up to dry. Levi would be proud of him.

All he has to do was find a new goal in life. Until he did, he would take care of the chickens and his cottage with as much care as if Levi lives here with him.

 

For days, he goes through these motions: feeding, cleaning and taking care of his plants. At night, he dreams. The memory of Levi’s hot touch lingers, sustaining him a little. But he sleeps more than before and it becomes harder to get up every day.

On the first rainy day of spring, he decides to write his memoirs. If nothing else, future generations might learn from the mistakes he has made, and of the things he did do right. There is not much writing material in the house, but enough so that he can introduce his ancestors. The rest he can pick up on a trip to the village.

Late in the evening, he still writes by the light of a candle. Yet it is not the tales of famous worthies that he describes. All that flows onto the paper are flashes of people he had sacrificed and what it has done to Levi to do the same.

Only when the candle runs out, does he take off his shirt and lies in his underwear on the mattress, listening to the rain.

Almost asleep, he thinks he imagines it when the door to his room is knocked. Erwin closes his eyes again.

Another knock. He sits up and he reaches for the knife he keeps under his pillow. “Yes?”

The door opens. He drops the knife and just looks. Dripping, Levi has an even darker aura around him than usual.

“No, don’t get up,” he says as Erwin moves to give him his only towel. “I just have a question for you.”

A flash of hope shoots through him, but he masks it well. The next question and his answer to it might change both their lives. “Ask.”

“Can I rest here for a bit?”

That was simpler than he had expected.

“Of course. The blanket you used is washed. Shall I sleep on the couch or do you prefer to sleep there?”

“I don’t give a fuck about the blanket.” Levi’s lips tighten. “I just want to stay with you.”

Erwin releases a breath he did not know he had been holding and reaches out his hand.

A last flicker of hesitation and then Levi sits next to him, pressing his face against Erwin’s chest. Without saying anything, Erwin dries black locks of hair. Gently, he pulls off Levi’s soaked clothes. He rubs cold hands until they are warm and puts his clothes over his chair. Naked, Levi undergoes it passively. When Erwin gets the towel and dries his body, he barely moves.

He pulls Levi down to his bed and spoons him from behind, hoping his own body heat will exile the chill.

Kissing his bare shoulder, he watches Levi carefully to see if it’s welcome.

“I hate your guts.”

Erwin smiles. “You should.”

“I am not kidding.” Levi says without looking back. “So stop smiling.”

“I’m not smiling.”

The younger man snorts.

“I am glad you came back,” Erwin says, caressing the small of his back. “You can stay however long you want.”

“I will not always stay here.”

“I know.”

Levi finally looks back. For moments they just watch each other, but then Levi rest his face against his chest. Erwin can feel the hesitation, tension and yes, the anger. But he also feels something deeper and more beautiful. He tightens his hold on Levi and kisses his hair.

“If you go, you can always come back.”

"Unless you run away again."

"I won't."

Levi turns his face away, staring in the distance. A special face. One that many could not look upon without frowning, yet one that Erwin loves to see.

The shorter man shivers, perhaps because of the cold or because he starts to become ill, so Erwin holds him just a little tighter.

Levi had always been highly attractive to Erwin and he barely had any human contact for years. He longs for him, longs to settle between those slender legs and thrust inside him. 

Tomorrow night, or perhaps even in the morning, Levi will welcome it. But now, Erwin instinctively knows he has to control himself.

Levi lets Erwin entwine their fingers, but avoids his gaze. The older man understands that he feels ashamed for needing Erwin. The smartest thing to do would be to open up himself and salvage some of that wounded pride.

“I am glad you found me,” he whispers and his eyes fall closed.

“Me too,” Levi says, long after Erwin fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that it took very long before I finished the story. I am sorry about that. Quite soon after the last chapter, I wrote a big part of this one, but wasn't entirely happy with it. I have since revised it and hope you enjoyed it :)


	4. Chapter 4

Erwin wakes up, turns to his side.

No Levi.

He puts on a shirt, walks down the stairs, enters the kitchen.

Not there.

Shoes, outside, around the house.

Nope.

Past the stream.

No sign of him yet, but his horse is grazing in the grass. Levi would never leave without his horse.

Erwin sighs in relief.

*

This has been his routine the last two months. Levi seeks him out at night. Most nights that is, for some evenings resentment blazes in his eyes and he sleeps on the couch. Erwin has woken up in an empty house more than once, being abandoned for the day and night after.

The one time Levi had left for three days, Erwin had believed he had left forever.

When Levi had returned, without an explanation but carrying a bag filled with apples, Erwin had watched silently and covered him with a blanket as he tumbled into bed. Erwin had absolutely no right to give voice to his anger and concern, not after what he had done to the other man.

*

Erwin climbs up, to his valley of flowers, all in full bloom. With him he carries a bowl, filled with what delicacies he had been able to gather: nuts, salad and the first two ripe grapes. Levi lies in the grass, arm over his eyes, to cover them from the powerful sunshine. Wearing nothing but one of Erwin’s shirts, he is no longer the feared and lonely soldier. For the first time since Levi had come here, he looks relaxed.

Quietly, Erwin sits down next to him, casting a shade over his face. Levi removes his arm and looks up.

“Are you content?” The blond man asks, not just talking about the present moment.

“Yes,” Levi responds and Erwin is not sure to what extent he answered his question.

He puts down the bowl in the grass. “This is how life would have been, without them.”

“If there had been no Titans, we would never have met,” Levi pointed out.

“I’m sure we would have encountered each other.”

“I’d have encountered your house, perhaps.” Levi shrugs. “And I would have robbed you blind.”

“Then I would have had to capture you.” Erwin smiles and feeds him a nut. “And made you my private plaything.”

Reaching out, Levi grabs his elbow, pulling him closer. He leans up and brushes his lips against Erwin’s. Erwin’s larger hand cups his face. They are alone together, surrounded only by flowers and animals.

No people for many miles.

No titans anywhere.

“Maybe I can live like this,” Levi says.

Erwin lies next to him and they share the lettuce.

“I’m not sure that you can.”

“You know me well.”

“Your whole life has been a fight for survival. Against hunger, other people, society, as well against titans. We have to see if you are wired to accept absence of conflict.”

Levi takes the last nut and when he is finished chewing, he lays his head against Erwin’s shoulder. “And what if I’m not?”

“We’ll have to rejoin humanity.”

“You do realize you have even more enemies than I do?”

“We don’t have to go back to the walls.”

Levi turns his face enough so he can kiss Erwin’s neck. “Just you, in a hood and a scruffy beard wandering about creates rumours, but no more. Together we’ll be unmistakable.”

True, that.

For a long time Erwin watches the sky and only feels Levi’s gaze on him when the smaller man leans closer. “You suffered too, didn’t you?”

“Yes.” He hates how his voice trembles in just that little word.

Levi considers that. “And you do now?”

After all that happened, Erwin should deny it. His actions had caused Levi years of misery, and these two months were nothing in comparison.

“Tell me the truth, Erwin.”

“Only when I know not where you are.”

“Then I will not leave you again. Not without telling where I go.”

Erwin sighs and his body loses some of the tension he had been holding for decades.

“I’ll go next week,” Levi announces.

“Whereto?”

“A village. Gotta get you a rooster.”

“ A what?”

“So you can breed your chickens. You want to, right?”

Erwin laughs and rolls on top of him. Looking him deeply into his eyes, he hopes that they convey his feelings, even if Levi would not accept him saying them out loud, yet.

“Thank you.”

Levi shrugs, but is not immune to his sudden closeness. His breathing quickens and he gasps when Erwin rolls his hips against him.

“You want me?”

“Always.” Erwin takes one of the grapes and puts it between his teeth. Leaning down, his lips touch Levi’s. The shorter man opens his mouth, accepting the fruit. His eyes close as he eats. Grapes had always been rare and expensive. Erwin guesses Levi only got to eat them when he was older and apt at stealing.

When he finishes, Levi opens his legs. “We can do it here, I can take it.”

“It’s not about what you can take anymore,” Erwin says, his thumb caressing Levi’s cheek. “It’s about what feels good to you.”

That concept is entirely alien to the younger man. Where Erwin had grown up under the shadow of prosecution, he had also known healthy food, the delight of good books and a warm living room.

Levi had only known strife. Sleeping somewhere else every night; in gutters, a few hours in the room of someone who had a night shift, a leaking shed.

Food had been fought over. Violence only been kept at bay by becoming violent himself.

Warmth only sporadically, and never assured.

Any pleasure had always been mixed with pain.

All this passes in Levi’s eyes, as his mind struggles to take in this more peaceful reality. 

Wanting to help him, Erwin leaves little kisses on the fabric.

But Levi stops him. Face turned away a little, his arms come around the taller man on top of him. He holds Erwin still, as if he does not want anything to change from this moment.

“There’s food aplenty here,” Erwin whispers. “Even without the eggs.”

Levi says nothing, tries to get used to the weight on top of him.

“Enough water to keep our house clean, wood for fires and furniture.”

“What are you on about?”

“And I will always protect you.”

Levi gave him a look.

“Yes, yes. You are the last person who needs protecting in this world. But I will do so all the same.”

For a long time, they say nothing. They repair part of the damage to their relationship with caressing hands and soft kisses.

When Levi speaks again a good deal later, he surprises Erwin.

“Will we get a piano?”

“A piano? Do you play?”

“I don’t. But you do.” Levi’s voice grows softer. “And I like music.”

“Then we’ll get one. From somewhere.”

Erwin looks at the sun, which has travelled through the sky since he came up with the bowl. There is food to gather, chickens to care for. “I have to get started. You can sunbathe a little longer.”

Levi rolls his eyes, but stays in the grass.

Turning back to the house, Erwin does not ask anything.

He knows he won’t sleep alone tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I leave it finished for now, since the first part is over, but a sequel is likely.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it!


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